Facing many trials in this short month brought me to a place where my faith was almost non existent. I have cried more in this past month than the past year combined. I have never felt lower nor have I ever become so controlled by my emotions than this past month. It was here in my struggle for faith, when I felt like I was falling and grasping for anything… That I felt the Father say, “Write what I tell you down, I will walk you through this and you will help others through.” So I quickly go sit down and wait.
Then I hear three questions.
What causes faith?
Why do we lack faith?
Why am I not walking in faith?
Before I can answer I hear; “Write down what you are feeling right now.” As I go to write down what I am feeling I hear “BE HONEST”. So I began to make my list.
As I stare at my list, of all the emotions and feelings that have come to an all time HIGH, I hear; “Now circle which ones are from me.” Not one. Not one, emotion or feeling, could I attribute to the Father. Here I am walking in this turmoil… walking in the flesh.
Then I am asked two more questions.
-Whose Kingdom am I called to?
-Whose kingdom am I operating in?
You cannot operate in fear and faith, peace and anxiety, you cannot walk in sonship identity and embarrassment, frustration and love, in forgiveness and resentment, offense and freedom, in depression and joy, adoption and abandonment. What truth it is. We cannot operate in the Kingdom of Heaven and the flesh of man simultaneously. They contradict themselves.
Again, I am asked the first three questions.
As I answer Him on the first, I say Faith by hearing the word of God. I then hear; “BUT what else?’’ I’m thinking… well and doing the word of God. Then just like that a scripture enters my mind, Romans 12:3.
“… as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.”
We receive many things from the Lord, we must decide if we will cultivate what He has given us, submitting to His will, believing that the faith allotted to us will; One, grow. Two, it will be enough measure to see us through. During this time, I felt the Father say, “If you submit to me, the measure of faith I have allotted you, will see you through.” We need to understand that faith is parallel with submission.
When I began to reason the second answer, I had to really stop and mediate and seek the word for the answer that I couldn’t find and wasn’t hearing. I feel that most often, we do the opposite of Proverbs 3:7, and we become wise in our own opinions. We do not follow the words of Paul in Hebrews 11:11 or 1 Timothy 4:10. If our hope isn’t placed in the Father, resting elsewhere then where can we place our faith?
Lastly, I believe that when situations arise, wether trials or tribulation, we respond in flesh. If we continually respond by flesh, we will not allow the Kingdom of God to be made manifest within us. For flesh has no inheritance in the Kingdom. The full manifestation is reserved for the Sons of God. We are continually told to PUT TO DEATH the old man in all his workings.
The last question was a bit harder for me. I had to address much of the flesh I still choose to operate in. For a fact, if we are not walking in faith, we are not walking in the Kingdom. The Kingdom cannot be obtained by the flesh of man, it is only when we put to death the works of the flesh that we are inheritors of the Kingdom without end.